Remember Bill Bryson’s Mrs Smegma in Dover with her counterpane and her rules? There was, ‘I’m going out shortly so may I ask that you vacate your room?’ Bill was confused. ‘I’ve just got here.’ Its different now. B&Bs don’t make you sit at a tiny breakfast table staring at chipped crockery and trying not to make a sound (conversation definitely not allowed). But we have been struggling with the term Bed & Breakfast (twee bedroom in somebody else’s house with a shared bathroom). But nothing else really worked either. Country retreat (rehab, chanting); Guesthouse (net curtains, plastic chairs); Hotel (too grand and we don’t have a restaurant, yet). What do we do here at The Malabar? We invite guests to stay in gloriously light and spacious bedrooms and then the next morning we serve them breakfast. Our last group of guests was given a brief to come up with the thing we should call ourselves. They loved this and set about it with great enthusiasm, chatting and huddling in small groups. The next day an announcement was made at breakfast. “We’ve got it!” Graham and I peered cautiously through the kitchen hatch. “Luxury B&B!” So there you have it. Keeping it simple, but luxurious. Just in case the photos don’t speak for themselves.